Ed Honcho

I find myself conflicted this morning, dear readers. On the one hand, we’ve come to the end of another highly successful NFL season… one that saw the renewal of my fantasy football dynasty (more UCLA basketball circa 1964-1975 than 1980’s Niners, at least as I plan it), the re-invigoration of the gulf coast region, the ascension of Aaron Rodgers, the descent of LaDainian Tomlinson, the promising starts of Mark Sanchez and Percy Harvin, the dignified finishes of Kurt Warner and Jamal Lewis, and, most importantly, some extremely salient predictions by yours truly. I’m sad to see it end. On the other hand, we’ve come to the beginning of the NFL’s other season… one where they don’t actually play any games… draft season. And, as a fan of an efficiently downtrodden team, this particular season has always been much more pertinent to my situation. So instead of despondence, let’s take a different tact, and anoint it a celebration… a celebration of the start of draft season. Seems more palatable that way, wouldn’t you agree?

But before we get into the nuts and bolts of draft season, let’s take a moment to reflect, and give Honcho awards to:

- Sean Payton (center of photo, following his onside kick call), for his Epcot-sized balls. If the Saints had played an all-too-typically conservative game against the Colts, they would have lost. Luckily for the Saints, Saints fans, and pretty much the rest of the free world (sans the area immediately surrounding Indianapolis), Payton is not your typical coach. He’s a risk-taker. Never was this more evident than when he called for the onside kick to start the second half. A stroke of genius, but one that 99% of coaches would never have attempted (which explains, of course, why it’s never been done before). For showing the balls to win a championship, Payton wins himself an emphatic Honcho Award (it’s neat… you’d love it… it actually has an accent mark over it).

- Dale Steyn, for his seven wicket haul for South Africa against India on their notoriously difficult playing surfaces. Running through Indian batsmen on an Indian flat pitch is not only impressive, it’s nigh on impossible. Young Dale’s come a long way since he used to chase rheboks through the valley of the Olifants and hoodwink the merchants of Phalaborwa. But it’s like they say, if you can make it in Limpopo, you can win Honcho Awards.

- LeBron James, for dropping 47 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists in Cleveland’s 113-106 victory over the New York Knicks. Again. If Kevin Durant weren’t making just as strong a case, LeBron might find his name engraved in some sort of honorary fashion on these here awards. I suppose I could call them the LeBron James and Kevin Durant Ed Honcho Awards, but that just looks and sounds stupid. Plus, if you must know, I’m really not the type to share the spotlight. Nothing against these guys, I’m sure they’re nice enough fellows, it’s just… well, I’m selfish, what can I say? All the greats are selfish. So this Ed Honcho Award is gonna have to do LeBron, and stop stepping on my toes.

- Alexander Ovechkin, for his hat trick in Washington’s 5-4 overtime comeback victory over the Pittsburgh Penguins. Every team should have a superstar like Ovechkin to root for. He’s weird. He’s outgoing. He’s a showman. He drops his gloves at the drop of a hat. He likes being called “that crazy Russian” (I assume). And now he’s a Honcho Award winner, a worthy adjective if there ever was one. Crazy Russian.

- Tracy Porter, for his game-winning pick six in Super Bowl 44. Clearly the most important play of the game, it’s also the most fascinating. Basically, Porter guessed right. It was an educated guess based on film study, but relying on the tendencies of Peyton Manning is a dangerous game. Porter could have gone straight to goat if Reggie Wayne and Manning had sight-adjusted the route (common practice, by the way), and Wayne had simply turned upfield. Porter took a risk (a tact instilled in him, I’m sure, by the coaching staff), and Manning bit. In essence, one of the smartest players in the game was outsmarted by a second year cornerback out of the University of Indiana. It wasn’t a bad pass, it wasn’t a bad route by Wayne… it’s just that Porter knew what was coming (or rather, he thought he knew what was coming) and jumped it, and what could have been a close finish turned into a comfortable win for the Saints. But, as mentioned earlier, without taking the risks, not only would the Saints not have won, they wouldn’t have been there in the first place. I believe the word(s) for it, is Honcho-worthy.

- Britney Griner, for her triple-double (24 points, 10 rebounds, and 11 blocks) in Baylor 76-42 pasting of Colorado. OK, maybe it’s not so fair since, at 6′8″ she has such an advantage over most women playing college basketball, but hey, you can’t fault people for their physical advantages. They still have to be able to play. Look at LeBron. He’s physically ahead of the curve (and that’s on the NBA level, so that’s some curve to be ahead of), but he brings it night in and night out. So does Griner. And for this night, she’s earned herself a Honcho Award.

- Daisuke Matsui, for scoring 2 goals with an assist in Grenoble’s shock 5-0 victory over Auxerre. Grenoble is rock-bottom of Ligue 1, barely within touching distance of the rest of the league. Think New Jersey Nets level woe. Auxerre is not only near the top, but they’ve been on a run of good form lately. So this has to be the most unexpected result of the year to date, and it was led by Matsui. Give the man a Honcho.

- Tuukka Rask, for his 36 saves in Boston’s 3-0 shutout of Montreal. The Bruins had been mired in a 10 game losing streak, and the only thing standing between 11 were the heroics of Rask. Not bad for the Finnish net-minder who until recently had been second-string. And now he’s a Honcho winner. Take that, any other Boston Bruin.

- Chris Bosh, for scoring 36 points and grabbing 11 boards in Toronto’s 115-104 victory over Sacramento. If you haven’t noticed, Bosh is blowing up this year. Pending contract? Maybe. But he’s added weight, and he’s turning into the player everyone thought he could be when he entered the league. Alas, when you’re part of a draft class that includes LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Carmelo Anthony (not to mention Darko Milicic), you might get overlooked. Not here. Not by the Ed Honcho Awards committee. Give that man his due.

- Garrett Hartley, for absolutely nailing his three field goal attempts from over 40 yards, the first kicker in Super Bowl history to do so. Who would have thought, when Hartley was busy missing a relative chip shot field goal in New Orleans loss to Tampa Bay in the regular season that he would play such an important role in their run through the playoffs? And that he would be so damn good? He didn’t even come close to missing. It’s not often a kicker’s going to get a Honcho, but when you set Super Bowl records, you’ve got a shot.

So that does it. Another Honcho Awards ceremony come and gone. Like the NFL season, it had its’ ups and ups, and we’re all certain to miss it. But don’t think of it as the end of something wonderful… think of it as the beginning of next week’s Honcho Awards! That will get you through the malaise.