Welcome to Civil Discussion, where I, Ed Honcho, discuss some of today’s hot button issues with an esteemed contemporary. And I have a treat for you, loyal readers, for my very first installment. That’s right, none other than the legendary Secretariat Jones has agreed to a duel of words. Typically, Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales, which we have a deep passion for, along with Mad-Libs, Hummel plates and steins of mead. But not today. Today we discuss the BCS. And despite the fact that we share given names of equine origin and regularly finish each other’s equations, we fall on very different sides of this dispute. Exactly opposite sides, in fact. Let’s see which one’s better.
Ed Honcho: Good evening, Mr. Jones, and thank you for joining us today.
Secretariat Jones: It’s my pleasure, really. I’m just happy to be included.
Ed Honcho: Of course you are. Now, let’s get right to it. You believe the B(C)S is fine the way it is. Can you explain yourself?
Secretariat Jones: Yes, but not without first pointing out that I found your reply to my original statement… you know, when I said “I’m just happy to be here”… to be most condescending, especially for a “civil” discussion.
Ed Honcho: Noted.
Secretariat Jones: Thank you. Now, my feeling is that the current system is no different than the playoff that you and others long for. It’s just that, rather than a postseason tournament, the tournament begins in week one. Now…
Ed Honcho: If I may interject for a moment. Were a tournament to begin in week one, then a loss would eliminate any team. And yet we’ve had many one loss champions.
Secretariat Jones: Then let’s call it a double elimination tournament.
Ed Honcho: Well, you know I’m going to bring up 2007’s national champion, LSU, and their two losses.
Secretariat Jones: A rare occurrence. So rare, in fact, that it’s happened only one time before, in 1960, when Minnesota won a title with two losses, despite losing the Rose Bowl.
Ed Honcho: “Rarely” and “never” are, as you should be aware, mutually exclusive. This clouds our perception of your viewpoint, but let’s move forward…
Secretariat Jones: I’m conscious of the difference between the words “never” and “rarely”. Somewhat patronizing the way you handled that, to be honest.
Ed Honcho: Noted.
Secretariat Jones: Thank you. Now, in addition to de-valuing the regular season, a playoff would also wreak havoc on the schedules and lives of those involved. They are, after all, supposed to be students first, and athletes second.
Ed Honcho: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I see your point, and I raise. The students are there for an education alright… an education in how best to prepare oneself for the NFL. Especially at the elite college level. Some of them… maybe even most of them… come out of it with a complementary degree, but that’s not what they came for. They came to advance their careers in their chosen field… football, and who can blame them. That’s what college is for.
Secretariat Jones: I think you’re trivializing…
Ed Honcho: Shut up for a second. You also contend that a playoff would wreak havoc on their schedules. Then how, pray tell, do high schoolers do it? How do NAIA-level players do it? Division III-level players? Division II-level players? Football Bowl Subdivision-level Players? Football Championship Subdivision-level players?
Secretariat Jones: OK, so that’s how you want to do this? Two can play, my friend. Two can play. And to answer your question, the difference is in the element of exposure… that is, none of those levels have the amount of exposure or pressure that Division I players would face. They wouldn’t be pestered by ESPN, they wouldn’t have their every move scrutinized, they wouldn’t be nearly as distracted… idiot.
Ed Honcho: It’s all relative. A high school championship is every bit as important to the players and communities involved as a national championship. Moreso, in some cases. And to think that they wouldn’t be distracted? Only someone who’d never experienced high school success would say such a thing.
Secretariat Jones: I was All-District on our state championship team! I had the scholarship offers! You rode the damn bench!
Ed Honcho: Now, now, Mr. Jones. No need to resort to lies and facts just to scrape for bits of truth. This is civil discussion, remember?
Secretariat Jones: Uh-huh, well, OK. But you’re not being very civil.
Ed Honcho: I haven’t raised my voice once.
Secretariat Jones: We’re writing!
Ed Honcho: See, there you go again, yelling and exclaiming. Please, Mr. Jones, keep it together. Now, what say you on the issue of improving teams? Namely, those that come together as the season progresses to become a formidable force… sometimes the consensus best team? Why should they be shut out because they lost early when they were still coming together?
Secretariat Jones: Well, because they lost.
Ed Honcho: See, it’s this attitude that causes everyone to schedule patsies in the early season. Don’t risk losing as your team is coming together. It’s an unintended consequence of your beloved system, and it’s why we’re left with Oklahoma vs. Idaho St. and Florida vs. Charleston Southern.
Secretariat Jones: For most of the national title contenders, making it through their conference schedule is enough.
Ed Honcho: Utterly ridiculous. It’s that thinking that leaves us with Texas, who may enter the title game without having beat a ranked team (if Oklahoma St. loses to Oklahoma next week). Conferences can have down years at any time. And, it excludes teams from weaker conferences, like TCU and Boise St., from getting their fair shake, since no one will play them in the non-conference season.
Secretariat Jones: OK, Mr. Hotshot, what’s your solution?
Ed Honcho: It’s Mr. Honcho, and I’m glad you finally asked. Take the top 8 teams, and they can be decided by the BCS for all I care, but take the top 8 teams and throw them in a single-elimination tournament, beginning in mid-December and ending around the same time as the current bowl games. Make insane amounts of money, increase exposure to the game, everyone’s happy. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
Secretariat Jones: But the controversy over who gets the #8 spot will be intense.
Ed Honcho: Oh, less so than who deserves to be in the national championship game now? It’s better to have a squabble over the #8 spot than the #1 spot, wouldn’t you say?
Secretariat Jones: No
Ed Honcho: Now you’re just being contrarian, and dare I say, childish, just for the sake of it.
Secretariat Jones: Hey! I’m a guest here.
Ed Honcho: And not a very good one, if I’m honest. Quibble here, quibble there… oh, you’re not being nice to me, stop being so condescending, my girl-parts hurt, wah….
Secretariat Jones: YOU GO TO HELL, I WAS DOING YOU A FAVOR!
Ed Honcho: More like a disservice.
Secretariat Jones: THAT’S IT! I’M ON MY WAY OVER THERE!
Ed Honcho: Bring it, douchebag.
And that’s been Civil Discussion! Special thanks to our guest Secretariat Jones, what a sport that guy is. I hope you enjoyed it, and keep your eyes peeled for our next installment, when my next opponent and I go toe to toe on matters of the gravest importance.
